Interview with a Union Soldier, Dead at Bull Run (Ex. 10)

Near a mound of fresh dirt under a sprawling oak tree. The rumbling of cannons is heard in the background. Lounging next to the mound is a young man, about 19. He is very dirty but underneath the dirt streaking his kind, guileless face, one can see freckles. He has slightly buck teeth and reddish brown hair.

Erin: So, you just died, right? How do you feel about that?

J: Yeah. I just got shot. I mean, I think that’s what happened. I think it was in the head. It’s OK, I mean, it happens off the page so I don’t really know what happened, but my head is all weird and misshapen now (puts hands to his head as if to feel). I wasn’t very good looking before, but at least now I’m interesting right?

Erin: Actually, I killed you off because you are really boring. And I think you’re really hard to get to know. I just kind of put you and Henry together and you never really turned into anyone. (pregnant silence. J stares at Erin) OK, so, uh… How does it feel to always be living in Henry’s shadow?

J: Well, Henry is my older brother, so that’s kind of how it’s supposed to be. I kind of always let him be in the forefront. He’s kind of a jerk in the novel though and he doesn’t really do anything right. None of us do. I think that’s kind of a weak point of the story. You have me and Henry always following Jeremiah, like he’s the only one, him and Rosetta, who have any ideas, but I’ve got ideas.

Erin: What ideas? Deserting? That’s the only idea you’ve ever suggested to me. And then you went and got killed so I had to have Henry desert by himself. It kind of messed up my plans a little bit there.

J: OK. An idea I have… Um. Maybe it was my idea to let Jeremiah and Rosetta hang out at the creek by themselves. You know how we were supposed to all meet, but we didn’t show up?

Erin: I’m pretty sure that was Jeremiah’s idea. Because he wanted to be alone with Rosetta.

J: Right. Well, then, what about locking Eli in the outhouse?

Erin: Are you asking me whose idea that was?

J: I’m just saying, maybe it was mine.

Erin: OK, but are you actually saying it was your idea, or just telling me it could be? Because that isn’t really proving your point. What is one idea you’ve had of something to do?

J: I think… Look. I think you should ask me some easier questions first.

Erin: All right. I really hate small talk, but if you aren’t going to give me anything better, I guess we’ll start with small talk. So, tell me, Jimmy O’Malley, what do you do for a living?

J: Well, my family owns a farm in upstate New York. It’s not a very prosperous farm. We’ve got a reputation for being lazy, for being ne’er do wells, but that isn’t really it.

Erin: What is it then?

J: There’s just a lot of us, you know. A lot of kids. And our dad, he’s a drunk. Our mother, she tries but she’s just a woman, you know.

Erin: No. I don’t really know. What do you mean, she’s just a woman?

J: Well, what can she do? She can’t buy anything. She can’t get loans. So there it is.

Erin: OK. So you’re a farmer who doesn’t farm very well with an Irish last name and a stereotypically Irish family life and you’re really sexist. That’s awesome. Really gives me a lot to go on. What else do you do?

J: Well, I’m a soldier, for the Union in the Civil War. It pays good. That’s why I decided to do it. And because my friends were going to fight. And the girls in the town, they like soldiers, so if I wanted to get a wife someday I felt like I had to be a soldier.

Erin: That didn’t really work out, did it?! (laughs, but then stops when Jimmy just looks at her) I guess that isn’t really funny, is it? Kind of ironic. But not funny. Right, so moving on… Was there a particular girl in town you really wanted to impress?

J: Don’t let Rosetta hear me say this, but I always thought Carrie was really pretty. But a girl like that, she’d never be interested in me.

Erin: Why not?

J: She’s from town, you know. So, she’s kind of like, sophisticated. She’s got soft hands. You look at a farm woman, she don’t have soft hands. And Carrie, well, she’s got money so a guy like me, I’d be a real step down for her. I always figured I’d end up married to someone like Betsy.

Erin: Wait, so you’re interested in Betsy? Or, I mean, you were interested in her, before you died?

J: Yeah, I guess. But I don’t think Rosetta would ever go for something like that.

Erin: Isn’t Betsy, like 12?

J: She’s 14.
Erin: Well, maybe that’s why Rosetta wouldn’t really go for it. That’s kind of young.

J: I guess.

Erin: So, all this time you liked Betsy? (J nods, which is a little disturbing, given the condition of his skull) Why didn’t you ever say anything? (E throws hands up)

J: You never asked me.

Erin: I never asked you. All that time when I was writing and wondering what I was going to do next, that didn’t seem like asking to you?

J: Did you ever once say, Hey, Jimmy? Hey, what would you like to do in this scene here?

Erin: If you’re asking if I ever said those words, then no, no I didn’t. Wait a minute! What’s going on here? I’m supposed to be interviewing you. (J shrugs. There is a pause. E appears to be thinking) In the novel, you and everyone else has a dialect.

J: Right.

Erin: Why aren’t you speaking in your dialect now?

J: That’s just the role I was playing, for Rosetta, to keep her happy. She’s kind of difficult, you know. We don’t really talk like that. She just thinks we sound better that way. You know, more rustic. But I can turn that off. I’m a smart guy.

Erin: Did I say you weren’t smart?

J: You implied it, remember, when you said I was boring and didn’t have any ideas?

Erin: (ignoring J’s last remark) So, you could turn the dialect back on if you wanted?

J: It ain’t no hard thing. There’s all sorts of things I can do, if I set my mind to it. I could fight with Henry if I put my mind to it. I could tell Captain all about Rosetta and how she ain’t what she looks like.

Erin: See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about! Now you’re getting all devious! Now you tell me now you have this crush on Betsy, and you claim you have ideas, but I just killed you off!

J: Couldn’t you, you know, make me be alive again? Can’t you do shit like that?

Erin: Um… This is kind of awkward….

J: Right. I’ll just stay dead then.